"Not my monkeys, not my circus"

I got this quote from David...

I often feel misunderstood, and I would try to explain the complexities of my opinions. That led to me feeling different, strange, and awkward.

I kept waiting for my words to make sense to the other person. I would become increasingly vulnerable, trying to cut to the heart of my message - and it never felt right.

I used to quote this to myself when a suit made a decision that infuriated me, like lining friendly pockets with our kids' money for "consultants" instead of doing a talent search within its own ranks. It would help remind me that I was part of a system where I have little control. I can't make suits care about kids, so I don't bother with thinking about their choices too much.

It got me through a lot. However, lately, I've started looking at it with a question in mind. Where are my monkeys? Where is my circus?

Turning away from infuriating things that drain me, I have turned to the things that bring me joy.

Example.

Our cafeteria staff is overwhelmed. I sit with my kids throughout lunch, and then help wipe, sweep, and mop up messes before I take a quick 10-15 minute sit down in the staff room for some adult conversation.

I am not going to lie - I love this. I love sitting with my kids, they have hilarious stories to tell, I am building relationships, and there is something so communal about breaking bread. (It's a cliffbar I keep protected in the wrapper between bites, but still.)

Suddenly, I am not drained from the system that bleeds us all, I am invigorated by the true purpose of my profession - guiding little humans into thoughtful bigger humans. 

So, while I still ascribe to "that's-none-of-my-concern" sensibility of "Not my monkeys, not my circus," I also think there is an invitation - go find your monkeys, go find your circus and enjoy the big show.




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