Why I Stopped Creating Content


TLDR:
I stopped creating because I felt like I wasn't good enough. Now, I want to start again, and this Pinterest-Perfect teacher content is giving me lots of opportunities to practice the skills of self-confidence.



People create for a variety of reasons. I created to share. 

What I needed, was to create and explore for ME, not for the intention of sharing with others.

I was sharing my thoughts, my healthy journey progress and process, my tips and tricks, and what I learned. There can be a problem with making yourself visible, especially if you've suffered any kind of painful rejection from your peers in your formative years, if you suffer with intrusive thoughts, or if you are dealing with the very normal, human, and devastating practice of comparison.

"Comparrison is the theif of joy." - quote investigator (uncertain) 

When I started engaging with teacher communities online, it was a refreshingly vulnerable place to be. Humans were sharing LESSON details, CONTENT details, information about how to create standards-based lessons, and tools for helping collect data. 

The content was centered around DISCUSSION, not display.

-

While I've been gone, teachers sharing content has changed. 

Most teacher-centric content is not about CONTENT, not about standards-based instruction and data collection, the very thing I struggle with most as a teacher. 

The majority of teacher content I see goes like this:

- A teacher who doesn't look like me walks into a classroom that doesn't look like mine.

- They go through a routine that seems absurdly reductive.
(Walk in, twirl, turn on the lights, turn on the twinkly lights, twirl, flip a few laminated items, sit at their computer typing, print out worksheets, etc...)

I have no problem with this content. Zero. It's your thing. Do what you wanna do.

AND...I can't be the only fat teacher without a Pinterest-perfect classroom. 

I can't be the only one trying to figure out HOW to teach, how to collect data, and how to use that data to inform my standards-based instruction.

So - I'm going to start sharing again. slowly, without a schedule, and for my own joy and purposes.


My classroom is NOT Pinterest-ready - and probably never will be.

My outfits are the same ones I've been wearing for about 5 years.

My hair will most likely be in a ponytail or messy bun.




If you have feelings after you watch those seemingly effortlessly perfect edited pieces of theater showing the perfect pencil system, the adorable this, and the amazing that - please take a breath and remember that we are not supposed to be perfect.

We're supposed to be a project - always under construction, and always in progress.

If you've ever wanted to share, but you've felt like you shouldn't because your classroom doesn't look like the Pinterest classroom, or you don't look like the Pinterest teachers - please lean in and share. 

We need more genuine humans in the online teacher-verse.



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